I Don’t Know What’s Next…So How Do I Know I’m Making the Right Choice?
Hi friend,
There was a point mid divorce when I genuinely had no idea what my life was going to look like. I had three boys. A house. Finances to figure out. A career that had already taken different breaks and turns around motherhood and family life.
And suddenly the future I thought I was building towards wasn't the future anymore.
Yes a clean slate you might say but when you are in it…it's terrifying. I wanted to know what came next. Actually I needed to know what came next so I could even sleep.
Where do I want to live? What would I do for work? Would I be financially okay? What would our family look like? Would I be okay?
I wanted answers. Preferably immediately. If you know me…yes another Type A overachiever planner over here. And of course, I didn't have them.
What I did have was a life that still needed living. Three boys who still needed raising. Decisions that still needed making.
So I started making them. Some were small. Some were bloody hard. Some worked. Some didn't. And slowly, a life started taking shape that I couldn't have mapped out at the beginning.
Including this work. I didn't emerge from divorce with a master plan to become a coach and build Lucy Regan Coaching.
That came later pulled to provide the support I wish I had. I started a Business Development Consultancy for a hot minute. I worked as a fashion stylist for a while. I explored and experimented. I also run my side Airbnb biz for more $ security.
I put myself out there no matter how uncertain I was.
Through living. Trying things. Following what interested me. Paying attention to what mattered. Getting things wrong. Changing my mind.
And I think that's why I have such an affinity for women who come to me saying:
“I just don't know what's next.”
Because I know how uncomfortable that place can be. Especially when you're someone who's spent most of her life being pretty bloody good at figuring things out.
But I've learned something about uncertainty since then. Maybe we're asking it to disappear when we should be learning how to move within it.
My 2 cents
We love certainty.
Tell me this is the right decision.
Tell me I won't regret leaving.
Tell me I'll make enough money.
Tell me this idea will work.
Tell me my kids will be okay.
Tell me I'm not making a huge mistake.
If we could just know, then we'd move. Except...when do we ever really know?
I see this all the time in my coaching. A woman knows something isn't working anymore, but every possible next move comes with a question mark.
Stay in the job? Leave? Go back to work? Start the business? Take the less impressive job that gives her more freedom? Retrain? Consult? Leave the relationship? Do something completely different?
And because none of the options comes with a guarantee, she keeps searching for the one that does.
More thinking. More research. Another pros-and-cons list. Another 6 months.
Uncertainty starts masquerading as a reason to wait.
I think there's another way to look at it.
What if the goal isn't to become certain?
What if it's to become someone who trusts herself enough to make the next decision without knowing exactly how everything will turn out?
That's a very different muscle.
And honestly, I think it's one of the most important ones we can build in this chapter of our lives.
3 Ways To Navigate Uncertainty
1. GET CURIOUS ABOUT THE “I DON’T KNOW”
Don’t rush to solve it. Get underneath it.
Sometimes you genuinely don’t know yet. Other times, you have an inkling but fear, money, other people’s expectations or the possibility of getting it wrong are making so much noise you can’t hear it.
Ask yourself: What am I actually uncertain about?
Then sit with it for a minute. Is it really the what...or are you scared of what might happen if you go after it?
You might know more than you think you do.
2. BORROW FROM THE WOMAN YOU’RE BECOMING
When your head is spinning, step outside and walk.
Picture yourself a few years from now, grounded, fulfilled and proud of how you navigated this chapter.
Now look at today through her eyes.
What does she know that you’re forgetting?
Notice what suddenly feels less important, what you’re giving too much power to and where she’s nudging you next.
Sometimes you need a little distance from today to hear yourself again.
3. PUT A DEADLINE ON “FIGURING IT OUT”
There’s a difference between exploring and indefinitely saying, “I’m figuring things out.”
- Give yourself 30 days.
- Choose 3–5 things that will give you real information: have the conversation, understand your finances, speak to someone doing the work, take the class, explore the opportunity.
Then put a review date in your calendar.
Look at what you learned, what you can rule out and what has more energy now.
You may not have the whole answer. But you’ll know more than you do today. And that’s progress.
Why This Matters
I work with incredibly capable women. Women who have made big decisions their entire lives.
Yet when the decision is about themselves and what they want next, suddenly the stakes can feel enormous.
Because underneath “What if I make the wrong decision?” is often something much bigger:
What if I regret it?
What if I lose the security I've worked so hard for?
What if everyone else thinks I've lost my mind?
What if I discover I'm actually not capable of doing this?
So we look for certainty. Except certainty isn't usually available at the beginning.
You build trust in yourself by seeing that you can choose, respond, adjust and choose again.
A decision doesn't have to dictate the next ten years of your life. It can simply be the best next choice for the woman you are now.
Catalyst Prompt
Think about the thing you’ve been going back and forth on.
Take “What’s the right decision?” off the table.
Instead…
What would I choose if I trusted myself to handle
what came next?
Notice what changes when you stop trying to predict the future and start trusting yourself in it.
1. FIND THE 3rd OPTION
When you’re stuck between A or B, ask:
What else could be possible here?
Come up with 3 options you haven’t considered. The answer may be somewhere outside the two choices you keep circling.
2. ARGUE THE OTHER SIDE
Take 1 decision you keep going around in circles on.
For 10 minutes, make the strongest possible case for the opposite choice.
Notice what comes up when you stop defending the answer you think you should want.
3. KEEP 1 PROMISE TO YOURSELF
Choose 1 small thing you’ll do this week because it matters to you. Then do it.
It sounds ridiculously simple, but every time you follow through on something you said you’d do, you build evidence:
I can trust myself.
3 Micro Moves
Catalyst Experiences
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT SOMETHING NEW IS COMING...
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I’ll be joining founders Petra Lindquist, BSN and Lynda Greenberg as the mindset coach for the cohort, helping women connect the physical changes they’re making with how they actually want to live, feel and move forward.
When we feel stronger and healthier, we have more energy and confidence for everything else we want from our lives.
Limited to 15 women.
Message if curious to learn more as we release details.
A Closing Note
If you're sitting in uncertainty right now, I want you to notice something.
You're probably much more comfortable supporting someone else through uncertainty than you are sitting in your own.
You'd remind a friend that she doesn't have to know everything yet.
You'd point out how capable she is.
You'd tell her she can change her mind.
You'd remind her how much she's already navigated.
So this month, give yourself some of that same trust.
And ask yourself:
What do I know enough to do next?
Start there. With you in it,
Lucy
If you’re reading this thinking...
Okay Lucy, but I'm right in the middle of my own “what now?” and I can't see through the noise.
That's exactly what my Next Chapter Roadmap Intensive is for.
It's a focused 90-minute deep dive, followed by a 30-minute follow-up and your personalized Roadmap, where we step out of all the competing thoughts, get underneath what's actually keeping you spinning, reconnect with what matters to you now and identify the moves worth exploring next.
We're not blowing up your life and futurizing. We're getting you moving now towards one that feels like yours.
Book your Next Chapter Roadmap Intensive below.